The biopic

By Evan Maloney

Posted Sunday, November 02, 2008

From Splat’s 2nd birthday

I suppose: the seemingly unquenchable desire Joe Public has to examine celebrity lifestyles has given birth to a new cinematic genre: the biopic, and everyone from sexual perverts to football managers are scouting the A-list for actors to play their private parts in public.


Less amusing, more frightening: John Mark Karr, who admitted loving and killing 5 year old JonBennet Ramsey even though he couldn’t and hadn’t, wants Johnny Depp to play him on the big screen. discussing Depp’s Willy Wonka, JMK said: “He looks like me.” Karr also believes that the character of Willy Wonka is very similar to his personality except for the fact that Willy did not know how to treat children. Karr explains: “He had no knowledge of how to be around children.” So why Depp, then? “It’s his look, it’s his age, it’s the fact that he’s an attractive man and he fits my part perfectly.”

Oh pulleeze.