pumpkin head

I have never been in Boulder on Halloween but it is apparently a sight to behold. Chief Beckner finds the decade old annual naked pumpkin run not only offensive but he has decided he will also make it illegal. He will allocate resources to deploy the SWAT team to arrest runners then put them on trial as sex offenders.

*beep*

Maybe Boulder DA Stan Garnett ought to take Beckner on a trip to Fantasy Fest in the Keys to see how other cities manage--

Boulder Police Chief, Mark Beckner, You are the Asshat of the Week
posted at The Legal Satyricon
by Marc John Randazza, JD

"...Beckner’s previous claim to fame was running the JonBenet Ramsey case. Bang up job you did there, Beckner.

Now, as police chief, he’s ready to put a stop to a rampant sex offense that is about to ruin Boulder — its annual Naked Halloween Pumpkin Streaking Event.

Yes, on Halloween in Boulder, Colorado, people put running shoes on their feet, Jack O’Lanterns on their heads, and they run through the streets. For nearly ten years, people have engaged in this tradition. They brave the cold, and run through the streets as onlookers throw candy. Beckner calls it a “free-for-all.” (source) Beckner decided, personally, that this kind of thing needs to come to an end.

According to the Wall Street Journal, Beckner planned to “station more than 40 officers on the traditional four-block route… , with two SWAT teams patrolling nearby. All [with] orders to arrest gourd-topped streakers as sex offenders.” (source).

This isn’t a cop deciding to do his duty and enforce the law, mind you. See, it isn’t actually illegal to run naked through the streets of Boulder.

Boulder is actually pretty comfortable with public nudity. So, Beckner decided that he would use Colorado’s state indecent exposure statute.

C.R.S. 18-7-302: states: “A person commits indecent exposure if he knowingly exposes his genitals to the view of any person under circumstances in which such conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm to the other person. In other words, if it isn’t bothering anyone, nor is it likely to do so, the nudity isn’t illegal. This event starts at 11:00 PM, when the kids are all home in bed, and the Naked Pumpkin Run route is lined with throngs of cheering fans who are there specifically to see the spectacle, how could any reasonable person think that this was “likely to cause affront or alarm?”

Police acknowledge they have not been flooded with pumpkin-run-related complaints, but say that’s beside the point. A throng of naked people with jack-o-lanterns on their heads is, by definition, an alarming sight, Chief Beckner says. Therefore, it’s illegal. (source)

*beep*....By the way, how’s that JonBenet Ramsey case coming along?" [...read more]